Everyday struggle

 

Everyday struggle

Feeling a bit overwhelmed by the circumstances around,” it has been quite a year” I exclaimed out loud letting out a yawn whilst staring absentmindedly at the ceiling that I didn’t even realize I have been looking at, a sharp pain of discomfort brought me out of my thought zone releasing a wince through clenched teeth,  I turned over on my right side instantly zooming off into my own little world inside my head. Going through a familiar train of thought, it had been the norm since last week Monday, knowing fully well my rent would be due in less than two months and my foodstuff running out at a strangely rapid rate, “holy crap I really need money”. I picked up my phone and thought of placing a call over to my mom to ask some money but then decided otherwise. Still thinking of how to make some extra cash I dozed off.

Awoken by a strange smell that caught my nose I picked up my phone seeing I had only slept for ten minutes. cautiously and consciously sniffing the air trying to make sense of the strange odor and then it hit me “oh shit I was cooking”, with the speed of light i jumped off my bed and ran to the kitchen “oh no” I said amidst tears this was my last noodles, opening the pot not minding the heat surrounding the pot which was threatening to scald my hands , “half of the noodles is burnt” I screamed annoyed at myself. Hissing out loud, I dragged my feet against the floor into the sitting room and slumped into my couch with a loud sigh, “I would be fine” I said reassuring myself. 

life in it's essence

 

Many times I wonder why things happen the way they do, some say its coincidence, others say its fate. Fate they say has been predestined and cannot be altered, although quite a number of people disagree with this phenomenon, certain people believe that you are in control of your life and anything that happens to you happens because of a decision you made and only because you permitted it, simply quoted “you are the architect of your own life”. This set of people don’t believe in coincidence and would usually go an extra mile to prove it. But does it really matter if life has been predestined or not……..

Truth be told life sometimes throws certain curves at us come to think of it, its all natural for life to throw curves at us because life itself isn’t a straight one you know, *p.s; the earth is spherical in shape* and so we should therefore expect those curves at times but this challenges are certainly what builds us as a person, it shapes, moulds, and sometimes rebuilds us, it makes us stronger and makes life fun. Basically this things add up to become our success stories.

But even in all this we shouldn’t forget to have fun once in a while, its really necessary to take a break from all the hazzel pazzel of life, make plans but go spontaneous sometimes. You don’t have to beat yourself up for every mistake you make, some of this mistakes are actually there to teach us a lesson. So you just learn your lesson and move on but then be careful not to make the same mistake again. Note that some things are out of your control so whenever you feel out of control just grab a coffee and relax but most of all remember “life is beautiful when shared with the right people”.

under the moonlight

 

Under the moonlight we shall dance
my love and i
under the moonlight shall we dance
the night away

Under the moonlight alas! We dance
pure affection in our eyes
under the moonlight alas! We dance
till we can dance no more

Under the tree we take a nap
my love and i
under the tree we take a nap
in the comfort of his arms

Morning is here where is my love
he is nowhere to be found
morning is here where is my love
to kiss me good morning

Oh nightingale have you seen my love
my! No no he whispers
oh dear my! Where is my love
to kiss me good morning

days  and days, where is my love
weeks and weeks where is my love
season to season oh my love
when will you be back

does he live or is he dead
is he free or in captive
wherever you are my love
I do hope you are safe

I’ll wait for you oh my love
I’ll stand the test of time
I’ll wait for you oh my love
I’ll fight for us…………..

The miners of gold come for me
the richest of merchants come for me
get away I scream at them
for I’ll wait for my love

Under the moonlight, did I dance
in anticipation of my love
under the moonlight did I dance
till I can dance no more

Under the tree I take a nap
loneness my companion
under the tree I take a nap
without the comfort of my love

Morning is here a brand new day
my oh my! Here is my love
laying down by my side
my heart leaps for joy

Nightingale where art thou
scornful merchants and miners
come and see my love is back
all of my waiting rewarded

So, under the moonlight again we danced
till we can dance no more
and, straight to our house did we head
our love stronger than ever

i grew up too fast

 

Oh my I grew up too fast!!!

 

 

I grew up too fast and my how I regret it!                                            
The joy of childhood I experienced not,
the fun of teenage hood I felt not,
and now have I become an adult,
oh my I grew up too fast!

I grew up too fast and my how I regret it!
The joy of childhood I experienced not,
the innocence of a baby, such beautiful ignorance,
such prestigious impeccability, flawlessly flawed,
oh my I grew up too fast!

I grew up too fast and my how I regret it!
The fun of teenage hood I felt not,
the days of sneaking to parties I never saw,
I was immersed and enwrapped in adult fantasy,
oh my I grew up too fast!

And now have I become an adult!
Only to see adulthood is an illusion, without,
childhood and teenage hood, my heart laden with rue,
alas, adulthood is not what I think it is…
oh my I grew up too fast!

terrors of the night

 

Oh just how can I still this voice inside?, this voice that is constantly crying for audience…..well you would probably say ignore the voice but tell you what, the more I ignore the louder it gets..

Who would save me from me?…… a battle that cannot be fought with axe and swords. you fool, comes the voice from inside can one get rid of himself? You embark on a journey so impossible……know ye not that you and I have become one. surrounding that voice is a raspy aura that sends chill down my spine…..is there really someone inside there?…..probably a stranger that has decided to share my body with me for a while, or am I just making things up….have I gone crazy?, well am probably just stressed up…….a little bit of sleep is all I need and by morning all of this would be over……..with this in mind I sink into the a deep sleep.

the guy next door

 

The guy next door…….

 

 

The guy next door we share a connection yet we don’t communicate, how I admire his elegant shoulders, his round face, his light brown cross eyes, his charming walking rhythm, I sit by my window all day in anticipation of my dear crush who crushes deep into my heart…..its eight in the morning he is probably preparing to step out of the house, I grab my chair and sit close to window with my curtain as a camoflague for the sight of a lady staring at him through her window early in the morning might creep him out, I listen as quietly as I can for the sound of his door open……I hear it, he is coming out. i grab a chair to sit, patiently waiting for him like a groom awaits his bride….there he comes good morning my love I whisper to my self he is so cute I squeak…….watching him walk brings joy to me cos for every step he takes my heart skips a beat. i once I heard him sing damn he is a really good singer Every time I try to speak to him I feel a thousand bang in my chest he would probably ignore you screams the voice in my head, I pick out a book and pen writing out the pros and cons of talking to him first….i practice an ideal very normal conversation in my head……but when its time to put my practice into use my voice fails me………..i do all I can to get his attention all to no avail …….oh the guy next door how exactly can I get your love, what must I do to get your attention…………love is a risk we must take and am ready to risk it all.

FEAR; A FALSE EVENT APPEARING REAL......????

☺For so many times i have wondered why people fear certain things no doubt we all get a fair share of our form of fear some so extreme it results into a phobia......fear of the dark,fear of ghosts,fear of the unknown,fear of what the future holds.....the one fear we all can relate to is the fear of failure one of which still remains my greatest fear as of now....but you know what makes the difference our various approach to such fear,how it defines us,shapes us,builds us,brings us down or even makes us stronger of course this is something that is determined by we ourselves.....☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺
to some fear is a phase that they go through for a while it does not take long before they get up,face that fear and overcome it,while many other people see it as a kind of monster that cannot be defeated thereby using such fear as an excuse to remain within their shells.....
someone once told me that fear is a choice you can either choose to let that fear rule you or you rule the fear........ that leads me to the one question tossing and turning on the mattress of my mind......
  is fear really a 'false event appearing real'.....????